To Baby or Not To Baby? – part 2

Continuing from the other day…

We had done our research and figured the next step was to try artificial insemination or IUI. Both Charles and I had decided that we wanted to try this, but that if it didn’t work that would probably be as far as we went. The whole process of trying to have a baby just seemed to be getting out of control and there was no longer anything natural or fun about it. We didn’t think we wanted to go as far as IVF (in vitro fertilization). I can’t really explain why, but IVF didn’t seem like the right choice for us. Anyhow, when we sat down with our nice doctor to discuss our options he shocked us by saying that our next step was indeed IVF.

Here in the UK everyone lives in a borough which is like sort of like a county. Each borough is maintained by a council. We live in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. We pay the equivalent of property taxes each month, called council tax, which pays for things like garbage collection, street cleaning and… fertility treatment. Actually, I think the council is given a sum of money from the government to pay for medical treatment and the council is responsible for approving and budgeting for these things. It’s all a little strange and confusing to me and very different than the way things are done in the states. So, after our initial shock off hearing that IVF was the next step we asked our doctor why not IUI. Apparently in the UK, that treatment is more “involved” and our council was much less likely to approve it and it would also take much longer to have the procedure completed. Our doctor sent us home to think about what we wanted to do.

It’s funny how decisions that you seem so sure of, a decision that took a lot of thought and time to make, can change in an instant. I think we both knew, before we even really discussed it, that we were going to move forward with IVF. Just as I still can’t explain fully why we initially didn’t think IVF was right for us, I can’t really explain why we changed our minds. Maybe, it’s because it was the next logical step (here in the UK) or maybe because it meant avoiding a surgical procedure with IUI or maybe, just maybe, it was because when we asked our doctor how much IFV would cost us he said it was totally free. In fact, our council will cover up to three treatment cycles for woman aged 39 or younger. Decision made.

A month later (February) we went back to the fertility clinic and told our doctor we were ready to move forward with IVF. Six months later (July) we finally started the treatment. We are now in the second week of about a five-week long process of making a baby. Yikes! This whole process has been a long one, but also an interesting, exciting and sometimes entertaining one. Its also been kind of scary and overwhelming. I thought that writing about our experience as we go through IVF treatment might help make it a little less scary. So, if you’re up for it I’m going to be showing all the steps that we are taking, sharing with you what happens along the way, good or bad. Let’s all hope for the good.

10 thoughts on “To Baby or Not To Baby? – part 2

  1. Rene says:

    wow, quite a serious story this time! good luck with everything! would be great to have a little Jenny or a little Charlie! ;)

  2. Cynthia says:

    Jennifer- I'm really happy for the both of you. You will make great parents, and that will be one lucky child with all of your worldly travels. Good luck-and I'll be thinking about you!

  3. Hi! You don't know me, but I happened upon your blog by reading your sisters blog…which I read daily!:) I just wanted to comment, b/c my husband and I also went through fertility treatment. We didn't have to go to IVF, but we did do one round of IUI, lots of meds, shots, invasive checks, a surgery for me, etc. We are blessed to have a beautiful baby girl who is now 8 months old. Parenthood is amazing and so worth all the uncertainty and stress that comes with fertility treatment. I will be keeping up with your journey and hope for the best for you!:) Feel free to check out my blog…I started blogging when I got pregnant, so there isn't much about our infertility journey on there, but lots about parenting, homemade baby food making, being a working mom, and LOTS of pics of a darn cute kid!:)

  4. Erin Butson says:

    Congratulations. it's the very best adventure. my best friend is 2 weeks away from giving brith to twins, through IVF. so excited for you guys.

  5. so excited for you j! can't wait for these next few weeks to fly by! love you!

  6. Jennifer says:

    Thank you so much everyone for all your encouragement and kind words. I will try to post about all the steps along the way so stay tuned.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Jen and Charles… congratulations you are going to have one lucky baby or babies with the 2 of you as parents… and when the baby arrives the challenges with fertility fade instantly…xo Christa

  8. Anonymous says:

    I would like to exchange links with your site http://www.welivewhereweare.comIs this possible?

  9. Jennifer says:

    Hi Anonymous, If you'd like you can send me an email at so we can exchange links. Cheers!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Hi – I also don't know you at all (or your sister or anyone else who knows you…I'm a complete stranger from the US), but stumbled upon your blog. This is so encouraging. I was the same way about the idea of having children and about IVF. I thought that if pregnancy didn't happen on its own (I used to say that we were "half-ass trying" but not really trying), that was fine, we just wouldn't have kids. I also always thought (and said) that I would never do IVF. But then when I heard it was our only option, everything changed. I was immediately open to it, and now my husband and I are about to embark on our IVF journey. It's so great to hear that it happened on your first try (and that the needles aren't that bad!)

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